


sun shines through the rain

by no_loose_wire_jokes



Series: Force Bond-verse [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (Nothing to do with Reylo), Angst, Canonverse? Kinda, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Post-TLJ, Sad and Happy, Terrorism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:46:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24760276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/no_loose_wire_jokes/pseuds/no_loose_wire_jokes
Summary: “You’re telling me that if you were still on Jakku,wasting away to nothing, and someone came and offered you a better life that you wouldn’t take it?”She holds his stare for another second before her face crumbles. All in an instant her angry demeanor vanishes and her shoulders fall inwards. It’s like the breaking of a dam—the way her tears spill over her cheeks, and she sinks to the ground, folding back into a ball.[Or, after billions die in an act of terrorism by a Hutt crime lord, Rey and Kylo Ren try to comfort each other through the bond.]
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Force Bond-verse [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1779391
Comments: 4
Kudos: 60





	sun shines through the rain

**Author's Note:**

> Part 3 of the Force Bond Series!!
> 
> You don't have to per say, but reading parts 1 and 2 first will probably make this one more enjoyable. It still works on it's own so it's up to you.
> 
>  **CW:** there is a news report about a terrorist attack on a large city at the beginning of the fic. Neither Rey or Kylo are hurt physically but if this kind of thing is triggering, _please, don't read it!_ I don't want anyone to be upset by something that is supposed to bring joy.
> 
> To be clear, in my universe, TROS never happened and will never ever happen so read this like it's just Post-TLJ.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy,  
> Love Deela

“ _In retaliation to new galactic anti-slavery laws implemented by the First Order and Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, the notorious crime lord Rotta Hutt unleashed a full-scale terrorist attack in Nar Shadda’s capital, Hutta City. Several suicide attackers entered the city this morning and set off over a dozen ion bombs destroying several sectors of residential and commercial areas. It is believed that over two billion were killed in the attack with numbers rising due to injury and ionic fallout. The target of the attack was seemingly the First Order stormtrooper battalions that were interspersed throughout the city along with the hundreds of construction staff that were dedicated to building new aid facilities for the poor and homeless souls who were just freed from slavery within Rotta's complex. We take you live to the scene where a crater now represents what’s left of the city_ _—”_

The holoprojector flicks off and Kylo Ren slumps into his chair. The six other people in the room—his loyal, trustworthy knights—remain completely silent, their shocked terror tangible in the air. 

He can feel his head pounding, a not-so-subtle hammering of his heart against his skull. He runs his hands down his face, exhaling into his palms.

Ap’lek gently speaks from across the room. “Kylo, I’m so sorry.” 

“So am I,” he responds sincerely. Ushar’s face crumples and Vicrul moves to speak, but before he can Kylo puts one hand out in front of him. “Please, just— _leave_.”

He doesn’t watch as they depart. He couldn’t bare to look up now and see the grief written across their features. Feeling their sadness through the Force is enough as it is. This project, this city, these people they’ve been working with for months, just _gone_ in an instant—obliterated before they had a chance to even take a step down the path towards a better life. 

And all because a greedy fucking crime lord couldn’t live without his slaves. Kylo thought the problem was taken care of. He thought the syndicate had been erased from the timeline completely but apparently you can’t kill true evil. It still lurks, rots beneath the surface, something you don’t notice until it’s too late and eaten through the floor.

Or blown up an entire city out of spite. 

Billions of lives lost. Billions of _innocent_ lives lost. He can feel the Force around Nar Shadda screaming in pain, he can feel the heavy hearts of trillions around the galaxy and the worst part of it all is that he couldn’t stop it from happening. 

He did everything he could to prevent this yet it happened anyway. 

He begins to feel tears rising to his eyes when the Force around him goes taut. Like a vacuum, the sound of the whirring machines and the hum of activity around the _Finalizer_ is sucked out and replaced with the echo of his shaky breathing and the thud of his aching heart.

Despite himself he looks up, eyes scanning the room before they land on her small, curled up form in the corner of the room. 

From the looks of it, she’s crying too. Her shoulders are shaking in silent shudders and she rocks quietly back and forth like a child. He gets the feeling that this is how she would comfort herself back when she was on Jakku.

She doesn’t look up and the tone of her voice startles him when she speaks, “Why?”

He sighs, tightly crossing his arms against his chest. “Why what?"

Her head lifts and her red-rimmed eyes meet his. “Why did you do it?”

“Do what, Rey?” He snaps, his emotional reigns much shorter than normal. “You’re going to have to be more specific?”

_“You freed those slaves,”_ she barks, apparently mirroring his restraint, “You freed them and because of that _billions are dead._ Have you not seen the report?”

“Of course I’ve seen it. I didn’t even need to see it— _I felt it!_ ” His chest feels like it’s seizing up. 

Rey sucks in a shuddering breath, gripping her knees closer to her chest. She obviously felt it too, yet she asks, “Just— _why?”_

He shoots to his feet, indignant anger gripping his entire body in a ruthless hold. “ _Why did I free those slaves?_ ” His voice is almost a shout. “Why did I give them a chance at a _better life?_ Why did I release them from the grip of an oppressive master who treated them like animals instead of people? Why, Rey, huh? I personally don’t think it’s that difficult to understand!”

She scrambles to her feet, matching him in posture and anger. “What you _did_ was make a crime lord angry! That one Hutt held so much power over that entire city and you and the First Order in all of your _grandeur_ were too kriffing blind to see it!” She begins pacing in front of him, her angry eyes darting to and from him intermittently. “You can’t just _do_ that! You can’t disrupt the order of things or shit like this happens! You never know what spite and revenge can drive people to do!”

He rounds on her, stepping in front of her path. “You _can’t honestly_ believe that!” He says incredulously. “You can’t honestly believe that those people would have rather lived in slavery than have even a short chance at freedom. And you, of all people—”

“ _Of all people?_ I _was_ one of those people, Ben. I was one of those slaves once upon a time and do you know why I never rebelled? Because you don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” 

There are tears streaming down her face but he still can’t believe what he’s hearing. “You’re telling me that if you were still on Jakku, _wasting away to nothing_ , and someone came and offered you a better life that you wouldn’t take it?”

She holds his stare for another second before her face crumbles. All in an instant her angry demeanor vanishes and her shoulders fall inwards. It’s like the breaking of a dam—the way her tears spill over her cheeks, and she sinks to the ground, folding back into a ball. 

“Your new laws are admirable. You didn’t do anything wrong,” she admits. 

He feels his anger slowly simmering away into confusion. “Then why are you so mad?”

She sniffs. “We had a small squadron of spies stationed there as soon as we learned about your rehabilitation efforts. We wanted to see for ourselves if it was true or just some kind of front. They were all killed in the attack.” 

_Oh._

She sinks even further, her words becoming jumbled by her tears. “And I—” she sniffs, “I was expected to go there. I-I was scheduled to leave tonight o-on a transport and arrive by tomorrow morning. I _should’ve been there_. I-I should be _dead!”_

He can feel his own tears running down his cheeks as his mouth falls open at the blow of her words. Over the bond, her guilt and regret come crashing through in waves, drowning them both in the dark.

His knees hit the smooth metal of the floor with a crack and he shuffles towards her. She’s sobbing completely now, her shoulders shaking with each broken sound that tears from her lips. It hurts him, _physically hurts him_ to look at her like this. To see her suffering and feel her self-loathing in his mind. It’s all too familiar and he wants to crush it, to free her from any and every pain so she'll never have to feel it again. She deserves as much.

She deserves everything but this. 

He reaches out and smooths his hand over her matted hair, running his fingers through each strand until they reach the back of her neck. When she doesn’t resist, he gently grabs her side with his other hand and pulls her over his lap as he leans back against the wall. 

She must be blinded by her grief because instead of fighting, she turns into him, wrapping her arms tightly around his shoulders and burying her face in the crook of his neck as her sobs intensify. 

He’s never been good at consoling others. The only experience he has along these lines comes from when he would scrape his knees as a child and cry to his mother, where she’d hold and shush him gently—almost like she cared. 

This was nothing like that, though: bone-crushing remorse as compared to a bloodied knee. 

Though he’d never been good at consoling others, consoling Rey comes naturally. He can feel exactly what she’s feeling, _has_ felt exactly what she’s feeling in the past and now, even, as he mourns those he tried and failed to save. 

He leaves his mind open to her, stripped bare so she can see that he understands. So that she knows that, no matter what, that he’ll be here. He continues to hold her tight, one arm wound around her waist as the other continues stroking her hair and though he’s not brave enough to leave a kiss on her scalp, he places his chin on the top of her head in a manner that he hopes is soothing. 

After a while, she begins to calm. Her breathing slows and she even sighs against his neck, the tension slowly melting out of her body.

When he feels her heartbeat slow to a more normal rhythm, he whispers into her hair. “I never want to hear you say that again. You deserve to be _alive_ , no matter what you think. You deserve—you deserve _everything_.”

She sniffs again but doesn’t lift her head, she just begins moving her fingers through the hair at his nape, almost unconsciously. The feeling of it has him closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, the soft scent of her shampoo filling his nose.

_Wait, scent?_ He thinks. He tries, and probably fails tremendously to take another, subtle sniff. 

She stiffens in his hold. “Did you just— _sniff me?”_

He stiffens, “I’m sorry but I—I can smell your hair.”

She pauses before leaning in further and, obviously, sniffing his collar. “I can smell you too.”

“That’s new,” he tries to say flippantly, as if it’s not a massive development in the strength of their bond.

“It is,” she says. 

There’s another bout of silence, neither of them quite ready to let go, or ready to acknowledge who they’re holding. 

After a moment, a choked laugh puffs against his neck. “You know,” Rey starts, “I think being able to smell you might’ve helped.”

Though he’s tired and worn, he smiles, “I think you’re right.” 

Her inhales become shaky again. “Ben, I—”

He holds his breath.

She sighs. “Thank you,” she whispers. 

He tightens his arms around her, not wanting to ruin the moment with words. 

It’s hard to describe, really, the way it feels to hold her like this. To know that out of all the people she could choose from in the galaxy, that she’s letting him gently rock her to sleep. Maybe it’s a lack of options—it certainly could be, given the circumstances she’s in, but he feels like this is something else. Their connection is so special it feels wrong to compare it to anything less than what it is. 

But they really don’t know what it is yet. Or what to make of it.

Of course he’s had his ideas but what they’ve both seen for their futures is apparently different. They shared visions over that fire and he knows they both saw something important, something life-changing. 

He saw her at his side, standing right beside him with her hand in his. It’s a moment he dreams about. It’s the one that drove him to accidentally push her away on the _Supremacy_. All he really wanted was for that vision to play out and come true, but perhaps his assessment was too naive. Too narrowly analyzed to actually understand what it actually meant.

Maybe that’s why she said no, because she saw it all. The whole picture with them standing strong at the finish line. 

It’s easy to fight, really—having opposite opinions on galactic conflict will do that, but their connection is becoming so much harder to ignore. While he wants to surrender to the pull of her, he knows that he can’t. He’s got an agenda to fill, things to do to hopefully set the galaxy back on its feet again. There’s so much he needs to fix to make the galaxy safe for her, for everyone, and he knows he can’t do it overnight. 

So for now, he’ll hold her and he’ll enjoy every damn minute of it until the Force rips her away again. He’ll hold her because he doesn’t know when or _if_ he’ll ever do it again. Just like those slaves in Hutta City, life could be ripped away in an instant and one of them could be left without the other—and as he listens to her gently snore against his neck, he knows _that_ would be the worst torture of all. 

So he holds her tightly until she fades away—her weight and warmth leaving his lap—and he lets his remaining tears fall over his face, mourning for her, for them, and for all those innocent lives he was helpless to save.

**Author's Note:**

> I know some may disagree with how Rey showed her sadness throughout this (I mean, she was full-out sobbing at one point) but I truly believe that even the strongest women can only hold in so many tears. 
> 
> It's okay to lose yourself every once and a while to your emotions, to just let yourself feel what you need to feel. Oftentimes it'll help you come out stronger on the other side.
> 
> Just do what you need to do to be happy, my loves, and if that means cuddling your secret emo boyfriend through the Force, than do it. :)


End file.
